Post by Aubrey Pedersen on Jan 22, 2006 14:42:26 GMT -5
I keep frowning at the begining of my fic. I think it feels to abrupt. Here it is, what do you guys think?
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“Get out of my face!”
“Make me!”
“Don’t tempt me!”
Zuko scowled as he stepped away from the younger water tribe boy. All he’d said was that he’d been more impressed by the buildings at the North Pole than at the South and the other boy had exploded. Now, here they were, standing face to face and both of them furious.
Zuko’s eyes narrowed, as he looked the panting boy up and down. His slim shoulders were shaking with suppressed anger and his blue eyes shone with the call for a challenge. They both knew that Sokka was no match for him in a fight, yet time and again he would provoke the Firebender. “Why do you hate me so much?”
Sokka stared at him, straightening from his fighting stance. “What?”
“Why do you hate me so much?” Zuko repeated, the anger not leaving his voice. “What have I ever done to make you always attack me?”
Sokka said nothing for a moment and then, much to Zuko’s surprise, slowly began to remove his shirt. The undershirt quickly followed and Zuko saw the other boy, for the first time, bare chested. It did not take him long to realize why he had never seen it before.
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What do you think? To abrupt a begining?
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“Get out of my face!”
“Make me!”
“Don’t tempt me!”
Zuko scowled as he stepped away from the younger water tribe boy. All he’d said was that he’d been more impressed by the buildings at the North Pole than at the South and the other boy had exploded. Now, here they were, standing face to face and both of them furious.
Zuko’s eyes narrowed, as he looked the panting boy up and down. His slim shoulders were shaking with suppressed anger and his blue eyes shone with the call for a challenge. They both knew that Sokka was no match for him in a fight, yet time and again he would provoke the Firebender. “Why do you hate me so much?”
Sokka stared at him, straightening from his fighting stance. “What?”
“Why do you hate me so much?” Zuko repeated, the anger not leaving his voice. “What have I ever done to make you always attack me?”
Sokka said nothing for a moment and then, much to Zuko’s surprise, slowly began to remove his shirt. The undershirt quickly followed and Zuko saw the other boy, for the first time, bare chested. It did not take him long to realize why he had never seen it before.
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What do you think? To abrupt a begining?
